From the Margarete Petersen Tarot, the Three of Feathers (Swords); from the Elemental Dice, Earth + Water:"
The three feathers, one broken and all bloodied, are similar to what I often find in my yard. The doves who like to sun in the pine straw on the ground are an enticement for the neighborhood hawks. Petersen describes this card as "repetitive memories of past hurts." Why do we humans replay painful scenarios over and over in our heads, making us re-experience the hurt all over again? Do we somehow think we can change the past? Or perhaps we have taken on the role of victim or martyr?
The Earth plus Water elements combine to form "Rain." Rain makes me think of water soothing a fevered brow, a parched throat, or a drought-stricken land. It is both comforting and healing. Looking closely, I see some raindrops in the Three of Feathers card. My thoughts are the sparks that fuel the fire of my emotions. To quench the fire, I need to redirect my thoughts through meditation, a gratitude list or a creative project. How do you keep the past from continuing as a present injury?
This is my current struggle. To tread the fine line between grief and turning myself into victim. My initial coping strategy is to tuck a way my feelings. I wont think, write or talk about it it just festers and hurts. It has been ten years now, shouldn't it be enough??
ReplyDeleteI am doing the right things: meditate gratitude, prayer and what not ,so the only thing I can do it trust this too shall pass :)
That's what sucks about this kind of pain and grief. It keeps coming back. But, I do think the more I deal with it in positive ways, the less powerful it becomes. Like the weeds in my yard - I pull them up and they return, but not in the number as before.
DeleteI have learned Ellen grief has no time line, and we all grieve in our own way, however we can.
DeleteI went to a support group and individual counselling. I had to find the right counselor and the right group.
similar themes today, when can we say something is truly burned out? cripes being a human is hard work. Is being one worth the effort? Is being oblivious a better path?
ReplyDeleteOblivious for me is like having a bag over my head - I might succeed in ignoring the hard stuff but I miss out on the wonder and joy too. But you're right - life isn't for sissies.
DeleteA touching post Bev. I see pain as a wound, some are deeper than others. It can heal over, but sometimes there is a deep scar. Sometimes the old wound aches when the 'weather' is bad.
DeleteMy wounds are part of me and have helped me to become more compassionate toward others. It doesn't mean I like them, I have just learned to live with them.
Thanks Catherine. I think my suffering can remind me that I am not alone, that pain is not personal, and that it is a part of everyone's life in one form or another. Like you, I hope mine can help me become more compassionate with others.
Deletethis idea will make you stop feeling like a victim :D
DeleteInteresting that Petersen associates this with memories from the past, rather than just painful thoughts or negative self-talk…
ReplyDeleteAs for letting go, talking can help, whether with some involved, or someone outside the issue. Or just the passage of time...
I think by "past" she means something that could have happened yesterday or years ago. I have women who have saved me from myself by letting me pour out my heart to them. Of course most of them were swordsy queens, so they also pointed out the work I need to do too. :) No pity parties were allowed!
DeleteI guess it's just that I think we can torment ourselves just as much with the what if's, maybe's and thoughts of an imagined future… Still, glad you've had some helpful swords queens to hand!
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