Getting to Know You

From the Gaian Tarot, the Explorer of Air (Knight of Swords); from the Goddess Oracle, Lady of the Beasts:

What a large volume of adventures may be grasped within the span of his little life by him who interests his heart in everything. ―Laurence Sterne

I quite like the name 'Explorer' give to the Knight of Swords; I much prefer someone who has an insatiable curiosity to someone who goes around poking others with his or her opinions. He is on a quest to learn more, but he attempts to do so from an open perspective, one that is different from his own. His life will never be boring unless he begins to think he knows everything as he gets older. The Lady of the Beasts, Poluknalai, is an ancient goddess of India. She represents cultivating bonds with those who nurture and support us. What does curiosity have to do with relationships? Todd Kashdan explains: "“When you show curiosity and you ask questions, and find out something interesting about another person, people disclose more, share more, and they return the favor, asking questions of you,” says Kashdan. “It sets up a spiral of give and take, which fosters intimacy.”

First, The Basics

From the Gaian Tarot, the Eight of Earth (Pentacles); from the Goddess Oracle, Ix Chel:

In learning you will teach, and in teaching you will learn.

― Phil Collins

A father mentors his daughter in the art of drumming, teaching her tempo and rhythm. But be assured that he is learning as much as she is. Teach a class or lead a discussion and any notes we made will soon be forgotten by the constant barrage of questions and discourse. Once there's an interest, we'll find that we learn as much as the students as we uncover more techniques and information. Ix chel, the Mayan moon goddess, is associated with creativity; her upturned jar constantly pours out the waters of inspiration and innovation. However, what allows our creativity to flourish is learning the fundamental skills first. Then we have a foundation to build on as we experiment and try out new ideas.

Finding It Again

This week I'll be using the Gaian Tarot, a deck and book set created and self-published by Joanna Powell Colbert. I'll also be using the Goddess Oracle, a deck and book set created by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and illustrated by Hrana Janto. Today's draws are Elder of Air (King of Swords) and Minerva:

Discernment: the ability to tell truth from fiction, to know when we have lost our center and how to find it again. ―Anne Hill

Kings offer guidance, but as the Elder of Air knows, guidance without clarity is worthless. To slow down his mind, which sniffs every bush constantly to see what needs to be worried about, he plays his flute. Focus allows his thoughts to slow down, giving him a chance to see clearly what is true and what is genuinely important. Minerva knows one major problem that fogs up our glasses is unfounded, unquestioned beliefs. She tells us: "I am what I think; my life is shaped and formed by what I tell myself. I make sure what I carry is of my own careful choosing and serves me well."

Settle for Contentment

From the Llewellyn Tarot, the Nine of Cups; from the Beasts of Albion, Cockerel:

I don't look for bliss, just contentment. –Alison Krauss

The Llewellyn companion booklet refers to the Nine of Cups as well-being of the heart. It doesn't necessarily mean that we have everything that we want or have managed to avoid what we don't. We might not sit in the lap of fame, wealth, praise and pleasure. But we see clearly all the good we do have, and we have a satisfactory relationship with the world around us. The Rooster/Cockerel is generally connected with the sunrise. Yet roosters crow for other reasons as well: to declare their territory, to tell the hens it's time to forage, and to warn of predators. This bird warns us that there is a difference between contentment and complacency - the first allows us to actively respond to life with gratitude while the latter keeps us stuck with a mindset that thinks nothing will change.

Not a Mountain, Just a Hill

From the Llewellyn Tarot, Strength; from the Beasts of Albion, Weasel:

Our doubts are traitors and cause us to miss the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.

–William Shakespeare

The Strength card illustrates a tale of courage about Culhwch; he wanted to win the hand of a giant's daughter and was required to successfully perform many tasks. Perhaps the most dangerous was taking the comb, scissors and razor from the head of a boar named Twrch Trwyth. Culhwch was smart in that he enlisted the help of King Arthur and some of his men, knowing challenges are easier met with support. Weasel, an animal known for its agility and ferocity despite its size, knows how to get close and size things up before jumping in. It is also flexible, adapting as necessary when it confronts what it faces. Above all, understand the essence of T. Harv Eker's words: “Nothing has meaning except for the meaning you give it.”

Suffering Over Suffering

From the Llewellyn Tarot, the Five of Cups; from the Beasts of Albion, Squirrel:

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.  ―Thich Nhat Hanh

One of the descriptions of this card from the companion book explains it as "suffering over our suffering." In other words, we have a loss or disappointment then rehearse every detail of it, reliving our pain over and over again. In part, it is an illusion that makes us think we might somehow hold on to what was lost. It also keeps us from moving into an unknown future without what we long for. Squirrel represents both a messenger and preparation. They are usually seen in near constant motion here, except when the heat index is high and they're splooting to cool down. This animal reminds us that while we need time to grieve, life necessitates that we must get moving again. Sometimes just starting with a small task can help us take the first step.

The Manager is Me

From the Llewellyn Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from the Beasts of Albion, the Lion:

Blaming externalities diminishes our sense of agency and hinders our growth and fulfillment. 

―Gene Eidelman

A cloud seems to fill a chalice to overflowing, allowing some of the water to trickle down into the lake below. It is a reminder that only when we take time to allow joy to fill our own cup will we have a plentiful supply to share with others. Those who frequently find themselves in the role of emotional giving need to be mindful of self-care, surrendering to their own emotional and physical needs. Don't mistake self-indulgence - indulging one’s desires without restraint or discernment - for such care. Filling our own cup should make us feel better not worse. The Lion represents personal sovereignty, the inherent right and ability to self-govern oneself. Self-rule requires dropping the assumption that others will make us happy; instead, we take responsibility for our own life. It is the opposite of Kristen Neff's humorous take on things: "Uh, excuse me. There must be some error. I signed up for the everything-will-go-swimmingly-until-the-day-I-die plan. Can I speak to the management please?"

A True Badge of Honor

From the Llewellyn Tarot, the Page of Cups; from the Beasts of Albion, Brock/Badger:

It’s not brave to refuse to pay attention, to refuse to notice, to refuse to feel and know and imagine. The opposite of sensitive is insensitive, and that’s no badge of honor.

―Glennon Doyle

The Page of Cups draws emotional people to him like iron fillings to a magnet. He is empathetic and compassionate, so people who hurt seek him out for his willingness to listen without being judgmental. He's incredibly attuned and sensitive, such that he can just look at a person and intuitively know how they feel. Yet he manages to keep his feet on solid ground by bringing his thoughts back to the sensations of his own body. Brock (Badger) lives in extended social tribes and is a home-loving animal. However, it is known for tenaciousness, power and courage when driven to extreme measures. Spiritual warriors don't go seeking battles to join, but they will face challenges with gentle courage if it means helping another. 

Am I Sure?

From the Llewellyn Tarot, the Ace of Swords; from the Beasts of Albion, the Hare:

Ideas and perceptions should be abandoned all the time, to make room for better ideas and truer perceptions. This is why we must always ask ourselves, "Am I sure?”

― Thich Nhat Hanh

The crown in this Ace of Swords is actually a coronet, lacking the convex arches and suggesting openness and curiosity. Rather than the usual palm and olive branches, it is adorned with stems from a yew and rowan tree, representing transformation (new that springs out of the old) and resilience. Ideas and solutions abound when we're willing to widen our perspective by embracing flexibility and the willingness to change. The Hare suggests creative fertility, bringing to mind a quote from Erich Fromme: "Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties." Our 'right way' might not be right at all.

The Perfect Sky is Torn

This week I'll be using the Llewellyn Tarot, created by Anna-Marie Ferguson and published by Llewellyn. I'll also be using the Beasts of Albion, an oracle deck created by Miranda Gray and published by Aquarian. Today's draws are the Ten of Swords and Wolf:

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel

I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor

Illusion never changed into something real

I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

―Natalie Imbruglia 

Sometimes we surrender our views and accept things as they are because we've gained clarity from a different perspective. At other times, life has to beat us nearly senseless before we're ready to submit. Even an arthritic body can't compare to a mind that is stiff, unbending and unwilling to open. We'll take medicine for the first but not for the latter until our suffering becomes absolutely intolerable. In Celtic mythology, the Wolf was seen both as a feared predator and a trusted guide, similar to our mind's dual nature. How it is used determines whether it is our master or our servant. As William James reminds us, “Man can alter his life by altering his thinking.”

Not Through Opinion

From the Norse Tarot, the Sun; from the Wolf Pack, Leadership:

...birdsong rang out as if there had never been a day as fresh and beautiful as this one.

― Brian Jacques

When the great battle of Ragnarok occurred, forever changing the known world, Sol (the sun goddess) was killed. Yet before she died, she had a daughter who would become her successor. The U.S. is currently undergoing its own great battle, as democracy slips and violent rhetoric and hatred swirl around us. It feels like the sun has been eclipsed by something dark and malevolent. Though this may last for years, I hang on to the thread of hope that things will eventually swing in the other direction, and life will become brighter again. During these corrupt times, Leadership encourages us to stick to our moral compass and heed the words of Paul Coelho: “The world is changed by your example, not your opinion.”

Are They Kind?

From the Norse Tarot, the Three of Cups; from the Wolf Pack, Release:

We harm ourselves as well as others if we become callous. To judge without being judgmental requires empathy. ―Charles H. Webb

This Three of Cups seems more sedate than the usual celebration filled with dancing. It reminds me of my husband's uncles and aunts from Alabama (sadly now all departed) who used to come to Georgia to visit. They were originally a large farming family, but once they retired, they sought out their kin. I think they missed that feeling of belonging. Release encourages a letting go of our personal opinions about others. We must judge - discerning whether something or someone is safe and healthy for us - but to be judgmental slides into the area of intolerance. We think other people's beliefs are ridiculous and without worth because they are so different from our own. Yet curiosity will show that we are all shaped by individual experiences in different ways. A better scale would be to ask, "But are they kind?"

Untitled for Now

From the Norse Tarot, the Three of Wands; from the Wolf Pack, Persistence:

You cannot swim for new horizons until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

 — William Faulkner

As the saying goes, if we want something different in our life, we must do something different. Expanding our horizons, regardless of whether it has to do with our finances, other people, or simply learning something new, requires us to be willing to be uncomfortable and uncertain for a while. Persistence underscores this necessity, encouraging us not to give up because we feel a bit lost or nervous. As Bob Goff wrote, “Embrace the uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won’t have a title until much later.”

Just Wanted to Call...

From the Norse Tarot, the Six of Cups; from the Wolf Pack, Support:

We were never meant to go it alone. Every small act of care becomes a thread in the tapestry of belonging. ―Ken Breniman

Two adults - possibly family or friends - chat while watching children play. Doing so brings up memories that they laugh or groan over. "Remember when you picked all of grandfather's green tomatoes off the vines, thinking you were helping?" "What about that time we were a bit intoxicated and went go to the grocery store; we got sunglasses off the spin rack and put them on all the produce!" Those memories remind us of and reestablish our connections. As the Support card reminds us, we all need someone in our corner, whether a group or a few friends. Yet bonds begin to fray if we don't take time to keep them strong. Who might we need to call or send an email to today? 

Last Mile

From the Norse Tarot, the Eight of Wands; from the Wolf Pack, Home:

There is no mile as long the final one that leads back home.

― Katherine Marsh

The long, slender ships of the Norse (aptly name longships) were built for speed. In calm waters or during surprise attacks, they dropped the sail and used oars. These men, seeing the familiar coastline of their village, are likely rowing for all their worth, ready to get back to familiar, friendly faces and relax with some hot food and good drink. Home brings up mixed memories for me. What I consider my original home was my grandparents' house, which was demolished for a hospital parking lot. It would take many years - after I married my husband - that I felt as if I had found another home. As Maya Angelou wrote, “The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”

The rambling, roomy house on Mimosa Drive

Welcomed its first family in 1928.

The Garrisons would grow there and grieve there,

Celebrating an abundance of joyful times and finding refuge during loss.

Throughout the years, its walls, floors, and roof

Were suffused with the affection and devotion of family.

Bulldozers have now crushed its beams and crumbled its foundation,

Yet the love that grew there still remains.

How appropriate that it will soon provide parking space

For those in search of comfort and healing.

―BK

Busy Hands, Light Heart

From the Norse Tarot, the Ten of Wands; from the Wolf Pack, Reunion:

There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes. –William J. Brennan, Jr.

Barrett describes this fellow as a merchant who doesn't mind getting away from the sales counter and doing work that isn't quite as prestigious. When did hard work become something we thumbed our noses at rather than what we were proud of? Just because we can afford to pay someone to do a job that we could do ourselves doesn't make it lowly or inferior. Reunion, while usually referring to two separate people, might refer to two parts of ourselves. Remember as young children when we were proud to accomplish simple tasks on our own? Yet even when we're older, there are reasons to appreciate such work. As Tad Williams wrote: "One should treasure those hum-drum tasks that keep the body occupied but leave the mind and heart unfettered."

The Cave of Treasure

This week I'll be using the Norse Tarot, a book and card set created and self-published by Clive Barrett. Paired with it will be the Wolf Pack, a deck created and self-published by Robert Petro. Today's draws are the Seven of Discs and Transformation:

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

―AA basic text

This young fellow sits atop a sand dune, watching the waves roll in and the birds fly by. He's supposed to be fixing the broken shields below, but he finds daydreaming much more pleasant. It's one thing to take a relaxing break, but another to idle away the hours without any intention of doing any work. It might seem like a life of pleasure is the way to bliss, yet as Transformation hints, it's the work and challenges we go through that lead us to contentment. We gain confidence, skills and knowledge, as we learn; because we are trustworthy, we form deep bonds. As Joseph Campbell wrote, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” 

Take Your Place

From the Nigel Jackson Tarot, the Seven of Staves; from the Viking Lenormand, the Man:

Head high, my dear! Eyes up! Take your place in the world!

―Rebecca Stead

Spokespeople for major organizations and corporations must be thick-skinned, not easily rattled, and above all, have a comprehensive understanding of the work they represent. This fellow is so composed that he looks bored. He's done his homework beforehand and has answers and explanations to whatever the angry mob throws at him. The Man suggests an assertive and protective response to those who would like to knock us from our perch. We don't need to get angry, but we do need to be resilient. As Colleen Hoover said, "I'm choosing to stand up taller. I'll probably get knocked down a few more times before this life is through with me, but I can guarantee you I'll never stay on the ground."

Spending Addiction

 From the Nigel Jackson Tarot, the Three of Coins; from the Viking Lenormand, Key:

You’ll never out-earn bad habits. Fix those first.

―Joseph C. Kunz Jr.

We all know folks who are skilled, knowledgeable and work hard, yet they always seem to be broke. Becoming proficient in any field includes money management. Not only do we need to balance the costs of our resources with what we charge for our product or services, we must learn to spend what we make wisely. A big payday means covering our bills and putting some in savings before we splurge. The Key suggests looking for answers - in this case, controlling our addiction to spending. Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz created four steps to take when our craving begins to replace our common sense:

Relabel - Remind yourself of the reality: “I don’t need this, it’s only an obsessive thought, an unfounded belief. Even though there is a feeling of urgency, there’s not anything urgent actually going on.

Reattribute - Place the blame on your brain: “My brain is sending me a false message. Because my desires are ingrained in my brain, they are easily triggered when I’m stressed, tired, unhappy or bored. They feel powerful, but they’re only arising from an automatic brain mechanism, not a moral failure.”

Refocus - The compulsion will pass if given some time. Find something to do that is enjoyable and will keep you active. Teach the brain it doesn’t have to obey the addictive call.

Revalue/Devalue - Realize the impact of the addictive urge. The addicted brain puts a false value on the behavior. It has caused many more problems than it has ever fixed. 

Nettles

From the Nigel Jackson Tarot, the Queen of Swords; from the Viking Lenormand, the Tree:

When people will not weed their own minds, they are apt to be overrun by nettles.

― Horace Walpole

The truth for this Queen is simply seeing the world as it is. We tend to get intoxicated by our emotions, opinions, assumptions and concepts, often secretly thinking we're experts. However, she advocates for clarity and self-honesty, encouraging us to have the patience to listen and ask questions. She reminds us that we'll need to prop open our mind and be aware of when new information tries to slam it shut. The Tree represents steady, strong growth. Such development allows us to see areas that need improvement as well as opportunities and resources. If we can't see clearly, we won't know how to appropriately respond to any situation, much less any challenge.  

Starved for Love

From the Nigel Jackson Tarot, the Eight of Cups; from the Viking Lenormand, Cross:

There's truths you have to grow into.

― H.G. Wells

The Eight of Cups represents leaving a situation that we find unfulfilling. Perhaps it was the relationship we thought was perfect, the job we felt was made for us, or the group that we assumed had the same values and interests we did. Yet when is leaving a matter of immaturity, simply wanting things our way? Patience, perseverance, wise decision-making, dependability, self-control, and humility are hallmarks for maturity. These traits usually take challenging experiences to develop. But the Cross implies burdens and sacrifices that might be too much for anyone to bear. If we are in a situation that is controlling, manipulative or abusive which is affecting our mental or physical health, then leaving is the sane thing to do. Otherwise, we might find ourselves in the words of Ayushee Ghoshal, "You make me feel like a firefly. Trapped in a bell jar; starved for love."

Not Always Destiny

From the Nigel Jackson Tarot, the King of Cups; from the Viking Lenormand, the Stars:

I sat with anger long enough until it told me its real name was Grief.

―Unknown

Unlike his wife, the King of Cups prefers ebb tide when he can see what the sea was hiding beneath its waves. He knows that people can cry when they're angry or rage when they are fearful. Outer emotions don't necessarily explain what is hidden beneath them. When intense feelings begin to wane, he can then uncover the ideas, expectations and frustrations that instigated them. The Stars often suggest a person's destiny, a predetermined course of events. But what if that course could be changed by noticing and altering our 'constellations' of behavior and the patterns of thinking that drive them? As James Baldwin reminds us, “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

No Thanks

From the Nigel Jackson Tarot, the Knight of Pentacles; from the Viking Lenormand, Bouquet:

In a self-absorbed society with a narcissism epidemic, everyone values image perception over reality. 

― Sunday Tomassetti

This Knight of Cups holds his chalice up in the air like it's a trophy, which brought to mind "trophy wives." This term originally appeared in a 1950 issue of The Economist newspaper, referring to the historical practice of warriors capturing the most beautiful women during battle to bring home as wives. Nowadays it refers to a someone who is chosen for their physical attractiveness and the ability to impress others; such a person would also affirm the virility and power of the chooser. How strange that people would prefer a life of wealth rather than being valued as a person and loved. Bouquet suggests joy and success. Being able to discern the relationships that will bring us misery and instead choosing the ones that will bring us happiness is a trait worth celebrating. As Mary Ann Shaffer points out, "I'd have become one of those abject, quaking women who look at their husbands when someone asks them a question."

Beware the Shadow

This week I'll be using the Nigel Jackson Tarot, created by Jackson and published by Llewellyn. I'll also be using the Viking Lenormand, created and self-published by my talented friend Carole Beasley. The draws this morning are the Ace of Coins and Garden:

Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow.

― Aesop

The Ace of Coins suggests substance (concrete things) and sensation (the information from our senses). Aesop warns us to not spend too much time in our minds - fantasizing, ruminating, or contemplating abstract ideas - because we might unintentionally lose what is in the here and now. Garden usually makes us think of the outdoors. Yet there's a big difference in being outside at a birthday party with 15 rowdy kids or doing yard work versus simply sitting in the quiet and paying attention. Nature captures all of our senses, whether a bird's song or a breeze, helping us to slow down and see with a full heart.

Learning to be Receptive

From the Albano-Waite Tarot, the Queen of Cups; from the American Pen Oracle, Jeffery Deaver:

Accepting reality doesn't mean being complacent about it; acceptance can be the foundation of seeing clearly... —Kazu Haga

The Queen of Cups is, elementally speaking, water of water. Her cup is covered, not to repress her own emotions, but because she is consciously aware of what feelings are going on within without having to act on them. This queen makes a good therapist - she can hang out with someone for a few minutes and pick up on whatever emotional station someone is broadcasting from. While she is kind, warmhearted, and a good listener, she does her best not to add her emotions to someone else's lest they both become submerged. Her job is to help people become receptive to reality in order to learn to respond appropriately to it. As Jeffery Deaver wrote: "Yield and you need not break. Bent, you can straighten. Emptied, you can hold. Torn, you can mend."