I use tarot and oracle cards as tools for reflection and contemplation. Rather than divining the future, they are a way for me to look more deeply at the "now."
"The goal isn't to arrive, but to meander, to saunter, to make your life a holy wandering." ~ Rami Shapiro

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Washing Over Me

From the Jolanda Tarot, the Six of Cups; from the Bird Signs deck, "Nutrition:"
I connected with the waterfall in this Six of Cups, because memories do seem to wash over me. Yesterday I was doing an online meditation with John Makransky called the Benefactor Moment, when I suddenly felt submerged. Makransky asked us to recall a connection "when someone was with you in a simple, loving way, taking joy in your being, wishing you well, any little moment of care, of joking together, play, laughter, a moment when someone was deeply listening to you, or you deeply listened to another, or someone was very present to you, as if you mattered a lot in that moment." I instantly thought of my grandmother; I lived with her as a preschool child. Every morning I would peek in her bedroom, crawl into bed with her, and listen to the stories she told me about her life. I have no grandparents, aunts or uncles now, and I miss that extended family connection. It was a bittersweet memory, but it did remind me of how much I felt loved by her.
The Nutrition card explains that birds need a lot of fuel for their bodies, just as we need to constantly keep our body, mind and spirit fueled too. Where do I find that kind of nurturing now? I would have to say my women friends, who will pause their busy days to spend time in deep conversation with me. It may not be the same as my grandmother's cozy bed, but the feelings of camaraderie come close to it.

2 comments:

  1. What a wonderful gift this memory must have been and so unexpected. I guess as a little child we are so eager and open for love we embrace is wholeheartedly, without the expectations we have a adults. I wish I could feel this open- hearted/minded once more.
    Maybe I am too afraid of loss and grief

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have to say this is where my study of Lojong is helping, as it emphasizes keeping the heart open and vulnerable - something which is completely opposite from what I would normally do!

      Delete