Jack of All Philosophies

This week I'll be using the Illuminated Tarot, a re-colored version of the Rider-Waite-Smith created and self-published by Carol Herzer.  Today's draw is the Hierophant:

When I see the Hierophant pop up, I can't help but compare him to the High Priestess.  They both have the fancy, big hat and robe thing going on, and they both sit between two pillars.  But the Hierophant has columns that are the same (not black and white as in the High Priestess), and he has followers or initiates who have chosen his path (while the HP is alone).  My first reaction to him is a negative one, seeing only a rigid way of thinking and living.  But lately I've begun to question whether my "skim the surface" approach is any better.  Instead of a "Jack of All Trades," I've become a "Jack of All Philosophies, and Master of None."  There is no digging deep into the marrow with this method, and no real community with which to discuss my ideas.  Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to dismiss the Hierophant after all.

The oracle deck I'll be using this week is the Dreaming in Color Deck (aka Luman Deck) created and published by Mindy Sommers.  This morning's draw is "Fear:"

I recognize the gray-green shades of color in this card; they resemble the complexion of a nauseated person.  In adding this emotion to the Hierophant above, I wonder if I have a fear of commitment.  I was the unmarried one while friends of mine were already wedded and having babies.  It took me awhile before I felt I had the right guy, but now I have been married for 24 years.  Is it a fear of losing my freedom that keeps me from pledging my allegiance to one person, group or philosophy?  Am I afraid of making the wrong choice?  Perhaps most of it stems from my "all or nothing" attitude; if I am not 100% on board with a path's beliefs or views, I tend to dismiss them as a whole.  Maybe I don't have to eat everything on the philosophical plate to sit down to dinner with them after all.