Not One or the Other

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the Tower; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, Corset:

To be fully alive, fully human and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.

― Pema Chodron

It's not so much that the unexpected happens, it's just that we expect it not to. Both the cards today imply ways we try to get around the uncertainties inherent in life. The Tower is the way we try to distance ourselves from pain; we may see it from a distance and even pity others, but we strive to be untouched by it. The Corset squeezes and shapes what is natural into a preferred form, much like the judgmental thoughts we can have ("He shouldn't have smoked and should have exercised more.") that are designed to separate us from suffering. But the mental and emotional walls we use are a delusion - the nature of life is joy and adversity, not one or the other. In the words of Chodron, "To live is to be willing to die over and over again." We release what has already happened and choose to greet each day as new and fresh, with curiosity rather than fear.

Plucked Ducks

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the King of Swords; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, Rose:

Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge.

~Plato

Often known as 'the judge,' this particular King of Swords looks like he would not suffer fools gladly. I'm sure he would demand a 'plucked duck' - a story without any fluffy excuses or feathery distractions. He will not be swayed by the anger of one side or the sob story of the other. Motives, actions and outcomes are what he'll base his impartial rulings on. Yet I can imagine another side to this serious man, one that would try to educate and illuminate those he serves. The Rose has been given the keywords desire and recognition. Our desires are what spur us to act, but as the King might warn, we need to consider any harm or chaos that might ensue if we follow them (especially in the long-term). If we fail to reflect, we might find that what we've achieved is infamy rather than fame for which we'll be held accountable. 

It Probably Exists

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the Queen of Pentacles; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, the Coffin:

Resourceful people know that even though a solution may not be immediately obvious, it probably exists.

― Anthony Iannarino

While the Empress and Queen of Pentacles might seem to be a lot alike, the Coffin indicates how they are different. It's easy to swim in abundance and be generous when material things are plentiful, but what happens when that well runs dry? Here the Queen shines in her resourcefulness, making do with what she has, being a careful spender and knowing how to create or find what is needed. While she works to deal skillfully with each difficult situation that arises, the emotional Empress would likely just pitch a fit until what she wanted arrived on a platter. So this Queen encourages us to be open-minded, willing to learn, and a practical optimist. She would hint that a gratitude list would give us a great place to start when we need to remember the resources we have available.

Many Forms of Abundance

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the Empress; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, Laudanum:

The Empress rules the created world, not with physical force but with love. She nurtures with beauty, kindness and patience, and the world responds with growth and development. Yet she offers us a warning: whatever seeds are planted, intentionally or not, they will bear fruit. Abundance can come in many forms, some wonderful and some horrible. Laudanum was widely used during the Victorian era; this drug was about 10% powdered opium and employed for nearly anything - even teething babies. To quote David Courtwright (author of Dark Paradise), "Though it could cure little, it could relieve anything." The Empress cautions that a love that seeks to eliminate pain is commendable, but the tools we choose and how they are used matters a lot. What is meant to soothe can easily become a nightmare.

Because there is no love you can throw on them, no hug big enough that will change the power of that drug; it is just beyond imagination how controlling and destructive it is.

― Beth Macy, Dopesick

Until It Didn't

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the Ten of Swords; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, Posey:

Things you once cherished as absolute truth are now seen as half-truths or downright lies.

~Sim Campbell

We all have beliefs and ideals we hold onto, but we generally don't see any of them as detrimental until we get an unpleasant dose of reality. We then discover that what made us feel confident and good about ourselves was information that was distorted and misrepresented. As the saying goes, it worked until it didn't. Perhaps even worse is the chant of "I told you so!" from those who tried to steer us in a different direction. But Posy, a symbol of kindness, suggests a different approach. Rather than using the rod of shame, we extend a hand of goodwill. Such an action is not just about being nice; it also encourages those who might be waffling about their own blind spots. People are much more willing to admit they were wrong and become willing to change if they know such an acknowledgment will be met with compassion rather than contempt and humiliation.

How Do I Look?

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the Ace of Cups; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, The Gentleman:

If we were to scry into the contents of this cup, we might see many people and things that will bring us happiness and fulfillment. Yet what it won't show us is how these same people and things will also bring anger, tears and heartache. The dragonfly on this card is a hint of its hidden meaning. This insect spends most of its life underwater as a nymph; they only emerge as winged adults in the later part of their life. In the same way, we are offered various cups in our life, not so that we'll find perfect happiness but so we can develop enough maturity to know that kind of perfection doesn't exist. The Gentleman card represents outward appearances, thus his keyword is pride. He reminds me of a quote by Sallie Tisdale: "How do I look?" is nothing more than "Where do I belong?" While our instinct to belong and be with others is natural, we need not give up our autonomy, inner values or self-respect to do so. Otherwise, we'll find ourselves back in the nymph stage.

Working from Mystery

From the Dark Mansion Tarot, the Ace of Wands; from Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, The Stranger:

Exploring the unknown requires tolerating uncertainty.

~Brian Greene

Against a fiery sky, a burly branch rises from a pedestal. It has no leafy growth because its potential has not been used and nurtured. Just as the Stranger card represents the unknown, there is a big question mark about what will happen if we engage with our creative inspiration. Will the results be beneficial and rewarding, or will our effort be for naught? We'll never know until we begin, letting go of the need to control every variable and refusing to have set-in-concrete expectations. Regardless of how the mystery unravels, we'll have an adventure ahead.

I think on some level, you do your best things when you're a little off-balance, a little scared. You've got to work from mystery, from wonder, from not knowing. 

~Willem Dafoe

Making It Manageable

This week I'll be using the Dark Mansion Tarot, an independently published deck (Taroteca Studio) by Krzysztof Wasiuk and Magdalena Kaczan (artist). I'll also be using Miss Mai's Victorian Oracle, a self-published deck created by Mai (surname unknown). Today's draws are the Two of Cups and Buckle:

Partnership is giving, taking, learning, teaching, offering the greatest possible benefit while doing the least possible harm. ― Octavia E. Butler

Any partnership, whether romantic or otherwise, requires two things to make it manageable: communication and respect. These are what keep things in balance and requires the effort of both parties. Of course we might need to take a page out of Aretha's book when she sings, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me." Families, cultures and traditions can be widely divergent, so it's good to understand how each of our ideas about communication and respect have been shaped and formed. From there, compromise will likely be necessary. For instance, some people don't want to talk about every little thing, but not talking at all can make the other feel ignored. The Buckle card represents securing something, and in the case of partnerships, that might boil down to self-awareness. An objective view of our beliefs, behaviors, strengths and weaknesses can allow us to see our part in the mix instead of just dumping all the responsibility on the other person.

Memento Mori

From the Mary-El Tarot, Death; from the OH Cards, Selves/Apology:

Marie White explains that the Death card is tarot's memento mori - literally, "remember you must die." This phrase was said to have been whispered in the ears of victorious generals in ancient Rome to keep them grounded in reality. The Selves and Apology cards remind me of the Rod Stewart's lyrics:

I wish that I knew what I know now

When I was younger

I wish that I knew what I know now

When I was stronger

Yet my past self still has wisdom for my present self, and my present self for my future self. What would they whisper in my ear? "How important, in the grand scheme of things, is this really?" "All things arise and pass away - this is the nature of reality." "What legacy are you creating with your life now?"

Means and End

From the Mary-El Tarot, the Magician; from the OH Cards, Play Cards/Should:

If you want something hard enough and you're willing to work for it, I think you can get it.

 ~Billy Magnussen

White writes that the Magician represents maintaining a clear vision of what is wanted until it is manifested. Thought shapes what is manifested, but to actually bring something tangible into the world, we are going to have to use our resources, not just think about them. Physical energy is just as important as mental energy. The Play Cards and Should combo makes me think of the saying "If you play your cards right," suggesting that if we do things a certain way we'll be successful. But what if that particular way runs counter to our values and principles? Perhaps that's just what we're to manifest - a way of getting to the end point ethically without having to justify the wrong done to get there.

Intentional Influence

From the Mary-El Tarot, the Chariot; from the OH Cards, Backstab/Holding On:

The Chariot invites us to take control of our life and get a move on. Yet as Drs. Paul Napper and Anthony Rao explain, most folks feel overwhelmed - either thwarted (as in the Backstab card) or stuck (as in Holding On). In their book The Power of Agency, they offer seven principles to help us make some forward progress:

1. Cut back the distractions in your immediate environment as much as possible for better concentration, creative thinking, and to minimize impulsive actions.
2. Surround yourself with open-minded, supportive people who will boost your mood, motivation, and overall well-being.
3. Get your body moving and give it the nutrition and rest it needs.
4. Be a learner, not just in what interests you. Let active questioning and listening expand your world.
5. Cultivate self-awareness by identifying beliefs and emotions that misguide you. Check for hard evidence; don't believe everything you think.
6. Use your intuition wisely rather than impulsively. Intuition is a link between your unconscious storehouse and external stimuli. When making important decisions, relying just on intuition makes sense only when you have vast experience to back your hunches.
7. Identify and weigh your options in a rational, inclusive way, then take positive, decisive action.

Clear Vision of Truth

From the Mary-El Tarot, Justice; from the OH Cards, Hook/Owe:

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakes. ~Carl Jung

White states in the companion book that Truth is what brought order, justice, balance and morality to what was chaos. But, as she explains, Truth only arrives through "seeing things the way they really are, the inside vision matching the reality of the outside vision." That's the tough part, because my ego will always tell me that my version is the right one. This twist can easily be seen when I feel like I've been wronged or harmed. However the Hook and Owe cards give me a warning to be cautious in my judgment. I might want to hook the person who hurt me, hanging them like a piece of meat for all to see. But what actually happens is that my mind gets hooked, constantly regurgitating the past instead of living my life in the present. What do I owe? Forgiveness that allows me to let go of my bitterness and reclaim my freedom. It doesn't okay their actions but simply recognizes that clinging to my pain only exacerbates my suffering.

Taking Time

From the Mary-El Tarot, the Knight of Cups; from the OH Cards, Time/Anger:

To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind.

~Theophile Gautier

Each of the knights of tarot are on a quest to find a particular Grail; the Knight of Cups seeks the one that serves the heart. To see and serve with the heart means that we see the potential for good in everyone. What has been done in the past does not mean the future will be the same. Life can sometimes wear down the sharp, jagged edges of people. We don't need to open ourselves to harm, but we can recognize that even the lotus seed begins its growth in the muck and mud. The Time and Anger cards, however, indicate that we've applied our personal timetable on such change. Yet impatience, expectations, perfection and frustration all grow from the mind. They deplete our energy and cloud our judgment. These are the moments we can practice developing patience, which begins in the heart.

Patience is taking the time to love what is difficult to love.

~Zenju Earthlyn Manuel

Pearl of Great Price

From the Mary-El Tarot, the Queen of Cups; from the OH Cards, Stone Hammer/Ugly:

The ugly duckling is a misunderstood universal myth. It's not about turning into a blonde Barbie doll or becoming what you dream of being; it's about self-revelation, becoming who you are.

—Baz Luhrmann

White writes that this Queen offers an environment where love is given and received and allowed to grow. I imagine her as a wise therapist, who knows when to poke our tender spots and when to apply a soothing balm. She would tell me that I am like a pearl, gradually shaped and formed layer by layer, first by my care givers and cultural experience. But at some point, when I come out of my 'shell,' I must accept responsibility for choosing what I value. The Ugly and Hammer Stone cards remind me that not all care givers use love and kindness to nurture their 'pearls.' Some of us are trained to believe that we are ugly, unworthy and incapable of accomplishing anything as we become adults. But the Queen would remind me those beliefs aren't facts, only an emotional choke collar once used for control. We are all beautiful pearls, she would say, but it is up to each of us to let our luminosity shine through the beliefs and principles we choose.

Into the Light

This week I'll be using the Mary-El Tarot created by Marie White and published by Schiffer. The oracle deck I'll be using this week is the OH Cards, created by Ely Raman and Joe Schlichter, and published by EOS Enterprises.  There are two decks in this set, one with pictures and one with words that you lay the images on, but I'll just include the picture one. Today's draws are the Moon and Companion/Fear:

Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.

— James Stephens

White's Moon shows the face of Hathor, an Egyptian goddess who was a feminine counterpart to the sun gods. The vulture with her symbolized the eternal cycle of death and rebirth because of its ability to transform the carrion it fed on. Likewise, the unconscious takes our memories into its darkness, including our deepest emotions, to file away until needed. Transformed into a symbolic language, they can seep out when triggered by something in the present that seems similar to the past. Without looking deeper at the source of these inner nudges, it is easy to be thrown off balance by them. The Companion/Fear cards suggest that when we have such an upsetting emotional jolt, it may be helpful to find a trusted friend with which to share it. Talking about these memories and emotions that have been in the dark can bring them into the light, taking away a lot of their energy. We might find that they are simply bits of information meant to help us rather than hurt us.

Grounded Energy

From the Tarot of the Crone, the Nine of Wands; from the Transforming Dragons deck, Amuto:

With the sun above, the moon below and seven fires between them, this figure contains great energy. Yet for such great energy to be useful, it must be grounded. Are we just fighting, or do we know what we are fighting for? Are we wildly spinning or is our attention directed toward a goal? However, we must be careful not to put our objectives in too rigid a container. Amuto is a dragon that can smother any fire with his attachment. If he likes something, he believes it should always stay that way and never deviate. His clinging creates his own suffering; all his energies are wasted trying to stop the natural flow of change and impermanence. No matter what our objective, we can't sustain the strength to work toward it if we're unwilling to adapt and adjust to the unexpected twists life brings.

No longer leaning toward one form of life (attachment) and away from another (aversion) allows psychic energy to flow from our imagination into reality and transforms our ordinary existence into the sacred. —Rodney Smith

Sinkholes and Island Sanctuaries

From the Tarot of the Crone, the Eight of Cups; from the Transforming Dragons deck, Yemotav:

The figure in this Eight of Cups stands in what is known as the goddess pose, a stance of strength and grounding in yoga. Lorenzi-Prince suggests this card is not about leaving, but about commitment, especially where our spiritual path is concerned. Often due to societal influences, we may choose a path because it looks fun; we expect it to bring us peace, happiness, and all kinds of material pleasures. But this is just a form of self-absorption. Spirituality involves connecting to something bigger than the ego, something that gives our life meaning, and requires change on our part. Unfortunately, if we maintain our self-orbiting pattern, it's easy for our thoughts to drift to our unworthiness or how awful and hollow life is. Yemotov is the dragon of self-destruction, and he feeds on these types of thoughts. If we can find no clarity, we begin to believe them. This is why I personally believe we all need a commitment to some form of spiritual framework, one that offers us sanctuary even in the midst of turmoil. In the words of Ruth King:

Reminding myself that life is not personal, permanent, or perfect has kept me from falling into sinkholes of despair and destroying rooms with rage. It invites me to pause and turn inward. —Ruth King

Guarding with Boundaries

From the Tarot of the Crone, the Eight of Disks; from the Transforming Dragons deck, Nervoc:

I know what is mine.

I guard and keep it.

~E.L-P.

This particular Eight of Disks makes me think of the phrase 'happy place.' Most of us have a place that can create a feeling of solitude and peace, allowing us to take a deep relaxed breath. It encourages our creative muse to come out of hiding and offers it a safe space to express itself, no matter what form of skill it takes. Nervoc is the dragon of thoughtlessness and carelessness who speaks and acts without any self-discipline. If we can't explain the idea of personal space and courtesy to such folks in a way they can grasp, firm boundaries are the next logical step. Explanations may pour in one ear and out the other, but experiencing the results of their imprudence might help them understand. 

Everyone needs a happy place.

Traction in the Present

From the Tarot of the Crone, the Six of Cups; from the Transforming Dragons Deck, Menoros:

Three robed beings pour bowls of water into a reflecting pool, a symbolic gesture of pouring the present into the past. It's good to remember the past at times, such as when we reflect on mistakes so we don't repeat them again or when we relive delightful days that brought us joy and contentment. But the past can also be a place where we lose our traction to act sanely and wisely in the present if we are trying to rewrite history. Menoros is a dragon who lives in the illusion that he can control people and his environment to behave as he wants so that he can be happy. Of course what happens is that things implode and turn out badly, creating more problems. Hopefully he will learn that he can't change the past or control the future, that in fact, he has very little influence over anything except himself. Then he can begin to work with what is internal rather than external.

Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

― George Bernard Shaw

A Day of Possibilities

From the Tarot of the Crone, the Fool; from the Transforming Dragons deck, Suboc:

A mere spark of awareness

But that is enough

That is where you begin

~E.L-P.

Like the Fool, each morning we wake up to a brand new day. The day ahead has endless potential and possibilities; it can be filled with delight and joy or resentment and irritation. The energy of the spark will follow wherever the mind directs it - conscious awareness can create our experience. Suboc is dragon who enjoys sabotaging the mood and dreams of all around him. He'll try to convince you that the Sun card you pulled is really the headlamp of an oncoming train about to flatten you. He's unhappy, and it gives him a little thrill to dump on anyone he perceives as content. But his gift of misery is a box we don't have to accept and open. Perhaps one day the seed of his own heart will crack open, allowing beauty to bloom. Until then, give him a wave and keep walking.

Nowhere Else to Go

From the Tarot of the Crone, Death; from the Transforming Dragons deck, Zorradion:

There is nowhere else to go

Something has to change

And that something is you

~Ellen Lorenzi-Prince

Accepting a loss means we must be wiling to deal with grief and the emptiness it brings. While that doesn't seem that doesn't seem very comforting, the alternative (in Lorenzi-Prince's words) is much worse: "Deny what is passing, and you may never be free, dragging a corpse along with you into your future." And it gets heavier to pull each passing day. Zorradion is connected to spite, things done with a desire to offend or hurt someone. In other words, we become the pebble in someone's shoe. Why do we react like this after a loss? We take out our anger and heartache on those who won't likely to counter attack us, using them as the dumping site for the pain we don't want to acknowledge. Spite can only be transformed through tenderness, first toward ourselves, and then toward others.

You don't blast a heart open. You coax and nurture it open, like the sun does to a rose.

― Melody Beattie

Digging Out the Root

This week I'll be using the Tarot of the Crone, a book and deck set created and self-published by Ellen Lorenzi-Prince. I'll be pairing it with Transforming Dragons, a set created by Sonia Cafe and published by Weiser. Today's cards are the Six of Disks and Esberfonc:

The Crone companion book suggests this Six of Disks invites us to make conscious choices that will give our life meaning. Yet Esberfonc, the dragon of emotionalism, is a reminder of how easy it is to become intoxicated with any emotion (and the physical and mental hangover such intoxication can leave behind). There is no conscious clarity where there is emotional inebriation. On my doctor's recommendation, I recently had a allergy test done; about sixty tiny scratches were made on my forearms applying various organic substances. Then in a few minutes, redness and swelling occurred on those spots where an allergy was present. Yesterday, it felt like I was having an emotional reaction to everything that surrounded me - had this been an allergy test, I would have been one giant red welt. Yet I know that the cause is internal, not external. It's time for some self-inquiry to dig out the root.

Simply by turning on the light, you can instantly destroy the darkness. Likewise, even a rather simple analysis of ego-clinging and afflictive emotions can make them collapse.

—Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

This is It

From the Hezicos Tarot, the Hierophant; from the Way of the Horse, Sky of Mind:

Any teacher worth his or her salt is enthusiastic about what they teach. But what happens when life unfolds in unexpected ways or something that we've ignored comes front and center? This elderly Hierophant seems tired, but at peace. It's good if people want to hear what he has to say, but if they don't that's okay too. Whatever comes, he can actively apply what he's learned. It reminds me of the Thich Nhat Hanh's enso with the words "This is it" in the center (meaning whatever we encounter - all of it - is part of the spiritual path). Sky of Mind suggests stepping out of ego's box of 'things to be concerned with' into our sky mind. In meditation, we can sit on the riverbank, watching our thoughts and emotions flowing by. We don't have to dive in. Instead, we can look up at the sky and remember that life is more spacious than this particular eddy our mind has been stuck in.

Welfare of All

From the Hezicos Tarot, the Ten of Swords; from the Way of the Horse, Dominance:

Every right has its responsibilities. Like the right itself, these responsibilities stem from no man-made law, but from the very nature of man and society. The security, progress and welfare of one group is measured finally in the security, progress and welfare of all mankind. ~Lewis Schwellenbach

I wonder if this little fellow went down screaming, "But it's my right!" We all have our own ideas about things, but that doesn't mean we should inflict them on others. And trying to do so can have consequences. Dominance shows an angry horse with veins protruding and a mouth open and ready to bite. The companion book calls this a show of 'adolescent authority' in humans, when we feel entitled to loudly state our demands and have them fulfilled. But as Schwellenbach states in the quote above, a democratic society measures demands with regard to the well-being of all. Just ask the groups of medical personnel, hopeful organ recipients, and other employees who refuse to get the Covid-19 vaccine.