Bruised Places

From the Albano-Waite Tarot, the Three of Swords; from the Rumi Cards, 'Fall Into:'

We all have tender or bruised places on our heart, places that when jabbed send us into a tailspin of deep grief or despair. The yellow on this card looks washed out compared to the bright yellow of the Fool's card drawn yesterday. Awareness of anything other than our pain gets dimmed; the rational side of the intellect is pushed aside. We may have a choice where to place our attention, but our pain will insist that we keep it there. The Rumi quote 'Fall into' suggests that we realize that human love is imperfect and fluctuating, no matter how strong it might be. Yet we treat it like a breeze we've opened our door to, thinking it will stay inside with us forever without changing. The poet Aeschylus wrote, "There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief. Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times." We can't go back, we can only move forward, even if that movement is excruciatingly slow. 

Personal Agency

This week I'll be using the Albano Waite Tarot, a recolored version of the RWS created by Frankie Albano and published by U.S. Games. The oracle deck I'll be pairing with it is the Rumi Cards, created by Eryk Hanut and Michelle Wetherbee and published by Tuttle Publishing. Today's draws are the Fool and 'Don't Despair:'

What people have the capacity to choose, they have the ability to change.

~ Madeleine Albright

I think the Fool often gets a bad rap. Yes, he has little experience in the world, but that bright yellow background is a hint that he's aware moving forward has unknown risks. Now the Fool could plant himself on that edge and curl up in a neurotic ball, imagining every worse case scenario. However, he understands that just staying on that cliff is to choose to be stuck. He doesn't want to abdicate his personal choice and pretend that life has left him no options. There are always options, though not all are fun and pleasurable. His landing won't be smooth or easy, but it will be an exciting adventure. The Rumi card is a reminder of impermanence, suggesting that the flow of life is dynamic and ever changing. Hard choices might bring hard landings, but even those won't remain the same unless we give up our personal agency. 

Motives Matter

From Hadar's Le Veritable Tarot de Marseille, the Six of Cups; from the Greek Rune Tiles, Lambda:

The Hadar booklet states that the Six of Cups represents a vow of union - choosing and committing to belong to a person or group of people. This fits nicely with Lambda; the Greek uppercase of this letter is painted on NATO military vehicles for alliance identification. How do we choose our alliances? Is it because we hate the same people and want to punish the same groups? Or do we join allies who work for justice, who want to help the oppressed and afflicted? Motives matter. Anger and abuse, unlike kindness and compassion, can easily turn on those who were originally considered friends. The vow of bitterness is completely self-centered.

Deposits

From Hadar's Veritable Tarot de Marseille, the Ace of Cups; from the Greek Rune Tiles, Delta:

The covered chalice on the Ace of Cups is likely based on the ciborium used to hold the hosts for the Eucharist. The lid preserved its consecrated form while also keeping dust and bugs out of the bread and wine. I'm guessing the building on top of the Marseille-style Ace of Cups represented the kingdom (either of God or earthly) that would bring a sense of security and belonging. This particular card asks me whether I treat my relationship with other beings as sacred or whether they are taken for granted. Delta, besides being a Greek letter, is also used to describe the fertile sediment deposited when a river reaches a lake or an ocean. Like the meandering river, all the phases of any relationship can lead to my own emotional growth and development. There will be fertile soil to grow healthy connections with others if I pay attention along the way.

In the end, it is the reality of personal relationship that saves everything.

—Thomas Merton

Don't Scratch

From Hadar's Le Veritable Tarot de Marseille, the Page of Cups; from the Greek Rune Tiles, Tau:

The Page of Cups is curious about emotions and how they affect others. He's always willing to lend a compassionate ear, but being a sensitive sort of fellow, he's wary of causing another person pain. This Page has removed the lid from his cup, yet he uses his cloak to cover it, allowing what's in it to breathe. Even at his age, he understands he has a duty to protect what others show him in their hearts, knowing the feelings of others should never be fodder for social gossip. He'd make a great therapist one day. Tau was used in ancient times as a symbol of life (Cross of Tau) and was adopted by St. Francis of Assisi as his personal coat of arms. As St. Francis was committed to the welfare of all beings, it represents devotion and personal sacrifice. Sometimes holding a secret creates an itch to share it with another, but true trustworthiness requires us to put the other's feelings before our own. Trust might be hard to win, but it's even harder to get back once it's lost.

Intentionality

From Hadar's Le Veritable Tarot de Marseille, Judgment; from the Greek Rune Tiles, Phi:

The gate of liberation is always open.

—Koshin Paley Ellison

While this card depicts the Last Judgment of the Bible, it symbolizes redemptive action that leads to liberation. In other words, we pause on our madly spinning hamster wheel and question the ideas we've rigidly held and the behaviors we keep repeating. It dawns on us (hearing the trumpet) that our expectations were more than a little off kilter. In our moment of clarity, we see the gate of liberation that has always been there, just waiting for us to notice it. As Arthur Brooks wrote, "our minds are habitually unbalanced, but not intrinsically so; the key is to build new habits of thinking." Phi in mathematics represents the golden mean, a special ratio found in the designs of nature, art and architecture that make these creations more pleasing to the eye. Yet this ratio still must exist within the laws of nature; things can't be created while ignoring reality. Phi encourages us to see through a different lens; there is a way to intentionally see the beauty and good in life, even when it doesn't meet our standards or wishes.

The Power of Tenderness

From Hadar's Le Veritable Tarot de Marseille, the Knight of Cups; from the Greek Rune Tiles, Zeta:

Man is a messenger who forgot the message. 

~Abraham Joshua Heschel

The Hadar's LWB reminded me that this knight is a messenger of love (note the covering of his chalice is off). He's not there to make a marriage commitment, he's there to remind people that they are loved no matter what. Such a difference that could make in people's lives if they knew someone (or even the Universe) cared about them deeply! Zeta can represent vorticity, the measure of rotation in fluid or air. That rotation can lead to a dust-devil or a tornado, depending on its power. Similarly, our messages of kindness and compassion often have power fueled by our sincerity (as opposed to doing it out of obligation or wanting to look good). As Mother Teresa said:

Speak tenderly to them. Let there be kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile, in the warmth of your greeting. Always have a cheerful smile. Don't only give your care, but give your heart as well.

More, More, More

From Hadar's Le Veritable Tarot de Marseille, the Devil; from the Greek Rune Tiles, Omega:

We miss the true depth of pleasure by being intoxicated with the possibility of more.

—Roshi Nancy Mujo Baker

The instincts originally wired into humans that were meant to keep us and our species alive don't work too well in some situations today. We crave pleasure and do whatever we can to avoid any kind of discomfort. But some of the suffering we run from is built into life itself, and other forms can actually help us grow and develop useful tools. Complicating this is the fact that pleasure and pain are processed in overlapping brain regions and work like a balance. When the balance tips too far for too long in one direction, the brain tries to bring it back to equilibrium. As psychiatrist Anna Lembke put it, "The paradox is that hedonism, the pursuit of pleasure for it's own sake, leads to anhedonia. Which is the inability to enjoy pleasure of any kind." The Greek letter Omega is the last letter of this alphabet, and as a result, it often represents the end or completion of something. Neuroscientist Daniel Freedman stated that our world is sensory rich but causal poor. In other words, we know what feels good, but we are much less aware how this pleasure will lead to problems later. Omega suggests that we take a hard look at the long view, the end results and possible problems our habits might create.

Quality not Quantity

This week I'll be using Le Veritable Tarot de Marseille, restored and reconstructed by Kris Hadar and published by Mortagne. Lee Bursten's The Marseille Tarot Companion will be a resource for reading with this deck. The oracle I'll be using is one I created myself called the Greek Rune Tiles. AlaskaLaserMaid on Etsy burned the designs on cedar tiles for me. Today's draws are the Nine of Cups and Eta:

I am convinced that most people do not grow up...We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old.

― Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter

The LWB for the Hadar describes the Nine of Cups as a departure from adolescence. What does that look like on an emotional level?

• We learn to be flexible and resilient instead of demanding life give us what we want.
• We learn to be responsible, cultivate self-honesty, and admit our mistakes.
• We realize we don't know everything and are willing to listen to other points of view; we seek out opportunities for growth and learn from our experiences. 
• We develop a calm disposition and a confidence that does not feed on being better than someone else.
• We maintain a sense of humor, an open mind and an empathetic response toward others.

Of course no one does this perfectly, we just realize these traits are something worthy of aspiring to and developing. The Greek letter Eta was derived from the Phoenician letter het meaning “wall” or “fence.” It is tempting as adults to see ourselves as founts of wisdom and emotional intelligence while relegating the young to a clueless group. Yet wise maturity depends on the quality of our years, not the quantity.

Leaving Something Behind

From the Shining Tribe Tarot, the Two of Trees (Wands); from the Animal Tiles, Green Anole:

Blessed is the mother who has given us shape. (Two of Trees)

A woman stands between two trees that arch toward each other, seeming to form a passageway. She must decide whether to pass through or stay with what is familiar. The quote on the card comes a day after celebrating another trip around the sun. I find myself reassessing my life this morning, wondering if I want to maintain my status quo or make some changes. I've decided to walk into the coming year being more mindful of my physical, mental, and spiritual health, which means I need to make some new choices. The Green Anole has an autotomic tail which breaks off and wiggles to help it escape from a predator. A new tail will begin to grow that contains cartilage rather than bone. This lizard implies that if I want to go forward with my new intention, I must be willing to leave some old habits behind.

Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art.

—Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

A Little Goes a Long Way

From the Shining Tribe Tarot, the Knower of Rivers (Knight of Cups); from the Animal Tiles, Spider:

The Knight of Cups represents fire in the element of water - a tricky balance. When I heat my tea kettle, the water inside can be useful for making hot tea. But left too long, the heat will evaporate all the water and burn up the kettle. This Knight feels his emotions deeply and passionately, which can help him be empathetic with others. But when too much fire (passion) is added, all logic and reason get tossed out the window (No, we cannot quit our jobs and live in a love shack forever). The Spider as a weaver of webs symbolizes creation. It doesn't build its webs haphazardly but with precision and focus. It asks, "What are you creating with your thoughts and actions? Have your emotions caused a loss in focus, creating not enough or too much tension?" 

If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.

~Benjamin Franklin

Holy Grail of Relationships

From the Shining Tribe Tarot, the Gift of Rivers (Queen of Cups); from the Animal Tiles, Otter:

What would be the Holy Grail of Relationships? For me it would be someone who would listen sincerely and deeply to my thoughts and feelings. The energy (snake) and passion (flower) of emotions need a sounding board, or I might take some fleeting mood to be a permanent reality. This is what the Queen of Cups does so well - allowing a person to feel heard and cared about without adding to their distress or giving them false hope. The American river otter is well adapted to semi-aquatic living, a nod to the necessity of balancing our emotions and logic. Yet they are also playful creatures, engaging in chasing, mud sliding and water play. The happiest folks I know are the ones who haven't forgotten how to have fun, no matter what their age. As Jane McGonigal wrote, "The opposite of play isn't work. It's depression." I have a feeling this Queen might agree.

Teaching With Tales

From the Shining Tribe Tarot, the Speaker of Rivers (King of Cups); from the Animal Tiles, Cicada:

Pollack refers to the King of Cups as a storyteller who helps his people navigate the emotional currents of life. Myths and stories can be teaching tales, not necessarily to propagate beliefs, but to help people understand a concept. Stories work for all types of learners: visual (mental pictures of the story), auditory (hearing the speaker's voice), and kinesthetic (emotional connections and feelings from the story). Psychologist Peg Neuhauser found that learning which stems from a well-told story is remembered more accurately, and for far longer, than learning derived from facts and figures. For two to seventeen years, Cicadas go through multiple instar phases underground before emerging above ground to seek a mate. Males sing by flexing their tymbals - drum-like organs found in their abdomens. The sound is intensified by the cicada’s mostly hollow abdomen. The Cicada's long period underground suggests that the King not try to make up some narrative on the fly or to repeat an over-told story, but to draw from his experience to create it. Those tales have the most impact because others recognize their genuine foundation.

The Art of Asking for Help

From the Shining Tribe Tarot, the Nine of Trees (Wands); from the Animal Tiles, Wolf:

This Nine of Wands illustrates the myth of Inanna who planted a tree on earth in hopes of having a throne and bed one day. But as the tree grew, other beings invaded it. Along came a human hero who cut down the tree and carved a throne and bed for her from it. As the book points out, if we try to see the world as only joy and light, our perception becomes distorted. We must take responsibility and make the effort to stand up for what we need. Of all the members of the genus Canis, the Wolf,  is most specialized for cooperative group hunting. Social animals, its pack consists of a mated pair and their offspring. Wolf is a reminder that it's smart and beneficial to allow others to help us, as long as we don't saddle them with all the work. 

It is an art to know how much responsibility to take on yourself and how much to direct to each of the people you are working with so that each person feels challenged but not overwhelmed.

~Judy Lief

Sacred Spaces

This week I'll be using the Shining Tribe Tarot, a deck and book set created by Rachel Pollack and published by Llewellyn. The oracle I'll be using is a wooden set of Animal Tiles, hand pyroetched by my multi-talented friend Carole. My draws this morning were the Gift of Stones (Queen of Pentacles) and Box Turtle:

The two shapes in the center of this card represent the Ġgantija (Giantess) Temples on the Mediterranean island of Gozo in Malta (Pollack's representation of the Queen of Pentacles). The site is considered as one of the oldest free-standing monuments in the world, preceding Stonehenge and the Egyptian pyramids; some of its megaliths weigh over fifty tons. Archaeological evidence suggests that worship in the temples included fertility rites in dedication to a mother goddess. The Box Turtle's high-domed shell and the lower hinged shell are prominent features of this terrestrial turtle. When disturbed or frightened, most box turtles will pull in their head and legs and tightly close the shell. Both these cards remind me of my grandmother and mother, two women who always created welcoming, supportive spaces for others to celebrate, enjoy fellowship, and be fed spiritually and physically. Like the Queen of Pentacles, they nurtured others in simple, practical ways.

Ever Changing

From the Durer Tarot, Death; from the Philosopher's Stone, Self:

Mutatis mutandis (necessary changes having been made)

The many endings represented by Death truly reaffirms for me how little control I have over anything except my own actions and attitude. Such was the case when everything in our kitchen had to be removed to other parts of our house because of necessary repairs. Yet now the damaged wall in our kitchen has been replaced and the whole room repainted. But its appearance is not all that has changed. When cleaning out cabinets and drawers after thirty-three years, I placed to the side many items that will now be going to Goodwill (as I don't cook or bake much anymore). Yet at one time, those items were part of my identity. The Self card - representing how I identify myself - reminds me just how fluid self-identity can be. The things I do, what I'm involved with, and my priorities have changed a lot over the years. We are not a fixed identity but an ever-changing stream of experience.

Gently Shake

From the Tarot of Durer, the Queen of Wands; from the Philosopher's Stone, Power:

In her cloak and hood, this Queen of Wands doesn't seem to be advertising her sex appeal (though that bare leg is a hint) or dazzling anyone with her charm. Even her lion seems calm. But the crown on the baton suggests she rules with a passion that might not be apparent except to those who know her well. Whatever her talents, she seems to use them in a humble way rather than attract attention. The Power card implies that her unpretentious approach creates more beneficial action than a boisterous or flashy one. Durer's Queen would likely agree with Gandhi: "In a gentle way, you can shake the world."

The Gap

From the Durer Tarot, the King of Swords; from the Philosopher's Stone, Movement:

The King of Swords is intelligent and a problem solver, but he is most often known as a fair and objective judge. He lives by a set of principles and ethics and thinks others should also have a strong moral code. Yet the Movement card emphasizes that just knowing what is the right thing to do isn't the same as doing it. Without a lifelong practice, such standards are like having a map to get to an unfamiliar place but just driving along without ever using it. In the words of Richard Biggs, "The greatest gap in life is the one between knowing and doing."

Little and Big

From the Tarot of Durer, the Two of Batons; from the Philosopher's Stone, Prudence:

The Twos are often deal with decisions about how we want to expend our energy. In this illustration, one lion works to grab a hedgehog, but the other lion seems to growl and say, "That animal is less than a mouthful! Quit spending your time on him and let's go grab something that will actually feed us!" I can relate to wasting time on something I considered important that in big picture wasn't. Often it is a distraction not to have to do harder more challenging tasks. The Prudence card shows a stone-man focusing on the larger rock rather than the pebble. Nicolas Chamfort once said, "Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day." He, of course, didn't advocate frog eating but getting the toughest job out of the way first. That way when we do have to face the small stuff, it does indeed feel small.

Your Own Agent

 From the Tarot of Durer, the King of Chalices; from the Philosopher's Stone, Composure:

This is an interesting King of Cups; he sits in the middle of the ocean, but he doesn't allow his feet or robes to get wet. While he may feel a duty to help with the emotional well-being of those in his kingdom, he knows how easy it is to be sucked into another person's drama and drown in it. Thus he's well-skilled in the art of nonjudgmental detachment - keeping his heart open without taking on the other person's responsibility. Yet the Composure card is what may be needed when a person demands we fix their problems for them, calling us uncaring or worse. The wise King would likely offer them a version of Ethan Nichtern's words: "Nobody can get into the heart of your experience and fix anything for you. If you want to make your own internal experience more hospitable, only you can do that work. Others can always support and guide you and spark insights, but ultimately you are your own boss and the agent of understanding your mind and opening your heart." 

Watching and Learning

From the Tarot of Durer, the Knave (Page) of Chalices; from the Philosopher's Stone, Origin:

We tend to become like those we admire.

~Thomas Monson

This attentive Knave is affectionate and available to those in need. That's probably his to-do list he's reading, with elders that need home visits and help with errands as well as those who could use some emotional support. He doesn't require any recognition for what he does; the good feeling he receives for his altruism is enough. The Origin painting of a rock cracking is a nod to an egg hatching. Everything has a beginning, even the seed of kindness that has developed in this young man. He's had folks he looked up to that he's modeled his behavior on (not necessarily his parents). I'll never forget a woman telling me when I was in my early twenties that her daughter so admired me that she was even wearing her hair like mine. Looking back, I know that I wasn't someone I would want my own daughter to emulate at that point in my life. It's a good reminder that we never know who's watching and learning from us.

Litmus Test

This week I'll be using the Tarot of Durer, created by Manfredi Toraldo and Giacinto Gaudenzi and published by Lo Scarabeo. The oracle deck I'll also be using is the Philosopher's Stone, created by De Es (Schwertberger) and published by AG Muller. Today's draws are the Hierophant and Introspection:

Wisdom is not easily improvised; virtue cannot be invented.

The Hierophant represents a teacher/leader who guides others and passes on values and traditions to the group. Yet that bag of coins gripped tightly in his lap makes me wonder if he's praying for the right use of those donations for the poor, widows and orphans or if he's just thinking of how he could use the money for his own benefit. His dog appears to look at him and ask where the Hierophant's loyalties lie. Introspection is the observation of one's own mental and emotional processes. It gives us a chance to see if our thoughts and emotions actually match reality or if we're simply running on past patterns without seeing what's in front of us. In the case of our devotion to a teacher, we might consider if we're going along out of habit or because we think he might supply us with what we want (as with the prosperity gospel preachers). It would be wise to use discernment and heed the words of Robert Ingersoll: "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power."

A Hare in a Snail Shell

From the Rosetta Tarot, the Prince (Knight) of Disks; from the Day of the Dead Lenormand, the Key:

Festina lente (Make haste slowly.)

The Roman emperor Augustus often used the Latin adage above, believing that a well-trained leader should not be rash: "Better a safe commander than a bold." Coins minted in his honor had symbols of this saying, like a hare in a snail shell or a dolphin wrapped around an anchor. Augustus would definitely approve of this Prince (Air of Earth) who is thoughtful and inventive while also steady and unwavering. This card encourages us to decide today what we're hoping to achieve, plot a strategy for accomplishing it, then make haste slowly. The Key of Lenormand suggests that we have the resources and knowledge for what we want to do, but we still must put forth the effort of getting it done. As they say in 12 Step fellowships, "Easy does it, but do it."

Don't Love Me Tender?

From the Rosetta Tarot, the Four of Cups; from the Day of the Dead Lenormand, the Mountain:

The Four of Cups in the Thoth realm represents luxury. Fours denote stability, usually a good thing - unless it's about emotions and relationships. Then we fail to appreciate those around us; after they've been by our side for a while, they no longer are enticing. A friend recently told another woman that she really wanted a steady boyfriend or husband. The other woman smirked and said, "You'll feel differently once you have one!" For some folks, they'd rather trade the devotion and tenderness they have for unpredictability and excitement. The Lenormand Mountain refers to obstacles that prevent us from finding what we seek. In this case, it points toward an addiction to thrills and drama in our relationships. Yet even after we change partners or groups, the problem of not being content and happy will repeat itself over and over. Instead of looking for someone else to supply us with fun and adventure, perhaps we could add some to the relationships we already have.